First, I want to tell you that you are a very good writer. I think you could make a career of it. I hope
Second I want to tell you that you are an inspiration. You are courageous, and your poignant letter to that smudge of excrement who attacked you will serve as an inspiration to other survivors. You have inspired me.
Third, I want to acknowledge your repeated trauma, first at the hands of a morally bereft Neanderthal, and second at the hands of a morally bereft injustice system. Much of our society functions in a haze of sociopathy, without remorse or empathy, and your letter forces us all to take a look at that. Well done.
Fourth, I want to advise you to reclaim your body, your sexuality, and your life, as quickly as possible. I am a survivor of sexual assault too, and I can personally attest to the possibility of a full recovery. You will enjoy sex again. You will enjoy life, and love. I bet you've already had good moments, and laughter. That horror of a few hours will fade, and you will get better. If you get therapy to help you deal with PTSD, you will get better faster. But know that you will get better. Your life HAS NOT been ruined.
Finally, to any other survivors out there, it wasn't your fault. Were you tricked? Were you coerced? Did you feel safe when you weren't safe, and made a decision that resulted in disaster? Your decision was to trust. His decision was to rape. That wasn't your fault. Repeat after me: It wasn't my fault. And the shame society tries to impose on you? It isn't yours. It's theirs.
With a raised fist in the solidarity of love, AKR