On How Difficult it is to DECIDE this Presidential Election!

Gee, I'm having trouble, because both candidates are so BAD!

I could vote for the guy who had to ask an advisor twice, on camera, why he couldn't use nuclear weapons, and still seemed unsure... Or maybe I should vote for the woman who worked with Russia, China and the EU to create sanctions against Iran to force them NOT to produce nuclear weapons.

Hm. I'll have to think on this some more.

I could vote for the guy who repeatedly refuses to disavow the KKK, or I could vote for the woman who wants to create a national task force to address violence against African Americans at the hands of police departments. But calling half of the other side "deplorable" was kind of a dick move, you know? Sure, there are a lot of swastika tattoos at those rallies, but she's white herself, so...

This is a real brain twister.

I could vote for the guy who wants to put pregnant girls in jail for trying to get an abortion, or maybe I should vote for the woman who made that historic speech in China about how women's rights are human rights. But don't forget: she's a woman! That's a conflict of interest right there!

Golly, this is a thinky problem!

I could vote for the guy who publicly appealed to Russia to hack the Democratic server to undermine the US presidential election, and has openly praised that horse-riding shirtless bald guy who murders journalists, (Vladimir somebody? The Impaler?!) or I could vote for the woman who brokered a cease fire between Israel and Hamas that lasted for eight years...

Nope. Still not sure.

It's just that she got some important emails mixed in with thousands of other emails on her private server that she wasn't supposed to have even though many government officials have them, and she deleted some emails to protect the privacy of her family and friends. That is MAJOR. Also she talked to somebody about her Foundation while she was in her State Department Office, and she got all those people in Benghazi killed. Sure, the FBI exonerated her of wrongdoing about the emails, she doesn't even draw a salary from the Foundation which sends medicine to AIDS patients worldwide, and I guess there's something about how the Republican Party repeatedly blocked requests from the Obama Administration to increase funding for security at high risk American embassies, but still. It's because of her.

I mean I guess with the guy who's running they were talking about... fraud was it? Like he's being investigated for it? And someone is suing him for rape when she was a child, and she has witnesses? And his like, BEST friend at the time is now in jail for rape? And there are no former presidents endorsing him at all? And also wasn't there something about how he took money from HIS foundation and used it for personal reasons? But is it really stealing if you're already rich?

This is really hard.

She has like, a squishy neck? Like she's old? And she doesn't smile enough. And... and... and...

I think I'll just vote for somebody who can't possibly win.